Amusing Craigslist Ad

I saw a really funny ad on Craigslist. Links on Craigslist expire after a few days, so I’ll copy it here. The experience mentioned (C/C++ or LAMP) matches my own background.

WANTED: Employer (Brooklyn, NY)
Professional Brooklyn man is looking to engage a competent Employer.

Essential Duties
* The Employer provides the Professional with needful and satisfying endeavors designing and building fast, efficient software systems that benefit the Employer, its trading partners, and/or its internal staff.

* Size is not a major concern but must be reasonably well funded.
* Must be able to demonstrate a positive and corroborative workplace.
* Must afford ample opportunities for skill expansion sans pigeonholing.
* Must be amenable to ongoing education, both formal and autodidactic.
* Must facilitate the professional’s growth with the Employer’s organization.
* Must engage the Professional in the organization’s larger goals such that Professional can drive toward them with the Employer.
* Must value and recognize hard work but know how to have fun as well.
* Must be of a multidimensional persuasion, recognizing that the whole is the product of the aggregate of soft- and hard skills and not one to the exclusion of the other.
* Must be honest and ethical.

The ideal candidate will have two or more of the following:
* Offers opportunities to develop cool software systems featuring plenty of UI work, business rules, and backend.
* Will provide opportunity to work on Linux with full LAMP stack and/or C/C++ and/or JavaScript.
* Provides the opportunity to develop graphical animation applications, particularly 3D, with simulated physics, preferably with end user interaction.
* Is committed to finding the right people and then building the product rather than vice versa.
* Values problem solving skills over book smarts.
* Operates in the green energy sector.
* Provides lucrative opportunities to engage new software frameworks such as Cinder or Qt.
* Is focused rather on achievement of Employer’s objectives than on micromanaging or time put in.
* Treats the Professional not as unskilled labor but as one committed to the Employer’s goals.
* Nurtures the Professional, once Employer realizes he is honest, intelligent, hard-working, and valuable, toward his career goals.

All viable candidates will be duly considered. Equal Opportunity Professional (EEP) does not discriminate based on age, gender, creed, sexual orientation, or race.


Serious inquiries only.

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